Divine Object Of Hatred

This will be a recurring series on this blog and you’ll see why; basically, my reaction to shit that pisses me off.  There is lots of shit that does, believe me, and I plan to tell you all about it.

And what is pissing Brad off today?  Let’s start with the main one and get it out of the way.

People. 

Make that “Fucking people.” 

As a proud member of the species that produced Dr. Stephen Hawking, Leonardo, Michelangelo and the Rennaisance, Drs. Banting and Best, Terry Fox, Ghandi, MLK et al — I can say with authority that those and their ilk are the distinguished exceptions to the rule. 

I’ll admit I’m something of a prickly sort.  I live in NYC, the most densely populated urban area in North America outside Mexico City, despite the fact that the presence of a large number of people tends to drive me nuts.  I like the bustle and excitement of the city — give me densely packed urban over sprawling suburbs any day — but can we do something – anything – about the people I share it with?

The jackholes who tear up and down my street on their motorbikes all weekend long?  The twits blasting their music at all hours of the night (including the upstairs neighbor at 5AM today)?  The idiots blasting their boom-boxes on the subway when I try to get to where I’m going, packed into a cattle car along with my fellow refugees?  The baby factories with the triple-wide stroller tanks they jam through the subway doors and manage to effectively prevent anybody from using said doors until they reach their stop?  Is it any wonder I spend most of the week in my apartment, at my desk, doing everything I can to avoid contact with anyone? 

People are the main reason I don’t go to the movies anymore, outside of the occasional Friday-Saturday-Sunday morning showings.  An early show pretty much guarantees you a paucity of people, and the ones that are there are there because they want to see the movie.  Not to jabber to their friend like the theater’s their fucking living room.  Not to text their fellow idiots, not to constantly flip open their cell, the LED piercing the dark of the theater, always in my line of vision, always a distraction.  The audience is the worst thing about the movies these days – and I could fill a column with everything that’s wrong with movies these days (but not today).  And when you ask these self-involved assholes to please “be quiet” and “please turn your phone off” they call you the asshole.

The common thread to all of the above is one word; “entitlement.” I loathe people with a sense of entitlement. I just can’t get down with the pervasive mentality that people think they deserve more than what they’re willing to make happen for themselves. For a country full of people who get bent out of shape about the “horrors” of socialism there are plenty who think that someone else should be responsible for their life choices and take care of them. You see this from all stripes, and from all walks of life, from the snooty UWS denizen to the low-rent suburbanite, to the guy who cuts you off and yells at you for not watching where you’re going.  They don’t even have the excuse of being a teenager; these are people my age and older!  How is it that, as an adult, I am quite comfortable with dealing with the consequences of my choices?  Why are so many others unable to do likewise?  

The problem starts in childhood; it’s the kids, man.  Yeah, yeah, I know –I’m sure yours are little angels, being raised properly by loving parents, and will go on to make this shithole a better place.  But for far too long, we’ve reorganized our lives around our children and we’re now dealing with the ugly result.  Those turds you put up with at the movies — running around, carrying on and ruining the evening for everyone (when they’re not chattering on their cell-phones or texting each other) are the end result of a lifetime of being coddled by mommy and daddy who swallowed the bunk that their job is to be a friend first and a parent later.  And spare me that “it takes a village” crap, please; why should we, as society, bear the blame for the fact your kids suck?

And yes, there are organizations that wade into the sludge to try and effect change, but seriously, they shouldn’t bother.  It’s a zero sum game.  Take ACORN for example.  ACORN is just like communism. The problem is that, like communism, their principles are too idealistic and they rely on the good nature of humanity. The problem with that is that humans are in the words of my angry friend Sean Armstrong “a buncha fucking fucks.” Don’t get me wrong – there’s nothing wrong with principals.  I live and die by mine.  The problem with principals is they require you to stand by them when it *isn’t* convenient.  You have to stick with them when it’s fucking difficult to do so; when rolling over on them will make your life easier and you still don’t because they’re your goddamn principals.

One of the saddest things about modern society is the refusal of most people to be accountable for their actions and choices. To find excuses for the way they are and use those excuses as crutches. So here’s Uncle Brad’s challenge to humanity.

Be proactive in your own life.

Own up to your own bullshit.

Stop making excuses and either do something about it or shut the fuck up already.

[To be continued, I’m quite sure]

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About Brad

I'm the author of MAGICIANS IMPOSSIBLE, writer and creator of MIXTAPE, the screenwriter of STONEHENGE APOCALYPSE, ROBOCOP PRIME DIRECTIVES, and FRESH MEAT. My television work includes THE CANADA CREW, NOW YOU KNOW, and I LOVE MUMMY.

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