I miss the internet. The old internet. That weird wild west of flying toaster screen savers, dancing babies, 56k modems, the screechy dial-up sounds, and landfills full of AOL internet CDs (okay maybe not that part). I miss the highly curated, highly individualistic movie fan sites like AICN, CHUD, Dark Horizons, IGN, and Coming Attractions. God help me I even miss the message boards, trolls and all.

I miss the egalitarian days of the personal Geocities and Livejournal and Angelfire. Of webpages like, well, like this one. Ever since Facebook burst onto the scene in 2007 we’ve seen a gradual, steady death of the free and open internet with quirky personal websites and personality, in exchange for a blandly corporate community fueled by sponsored posts, advertisements, and updates from people you never remember following in the first place. It’s become the equivalent of those boxy new luxury duplexes blocks popping up in neighborhoods near me; blandly corporate structures in place of charming small homes that once resided there.

Along came Instagram, and Twitter/ Xhitter, and Tik Tok and all sorts of negative energy-fueled apps and time-sucks that despite claiming to bring us all together have served to drive us all further apart. Before we occupied these personal spaces for our own creativity and enjoyment. Now engagement is everything and if negative content gets more engagement than positive, well, we really have built the world we truly deserve. We chase algorithms, troll for clicks and likes, and focus on Building The Brand and hoping one day to become someone other people listen to.

And the supposed “saviors” of this algorithmic mess like Threads and Mastodon and yes even BlueSky aren’t making things any better either. Despite their claims of a smaller, more intimate, more friendly experience I have to wonder if another social media platform is really what we need right now when, frankly, we’d all probably be better off without social media, period. We once allowed our minds to roam free, to walk without distraction, to dine without need of a little rectangle filled with information to keep us locked in a cell of our own making.

[In point of fact I *did* take BlueSky for a brief spin but after barely a month I decided that social media and yours truly just aren’t compatible. At all. And rather than try and force it to be a component of my daily life I was pretty well content to just cut the rope and let it drift off into the big blue sky above never to return. So for those of you wondering no you will not find me on BlueSky at this time.]

It’s enough to make one despair, but it reinforces my focus on keeping this little patch of internet real estate alive and kicking. I update fairly regularly, I post long-form pieces (for free I might add), and I require nothing other than you reading it and maybe commenting on what you like.

But to do all of the above … has been very draining lately.

It’s been a challenging year for me I’m not going to lie. I’ve been querying three different manuscripts, one of which is the Celluloid Heroes book. There has been some mild interest so far, but no takers. The fact is I need an audience much, much bigger than this website has been providing me with. While mine is probably one of the more heavily trafficked ones, it still pales in comparison to the traffic a popular Facebook or Instagram page will get.

Forget pale: we’re talking anemic here.

So what do I do? I find a new way forward. Two of them actually.

Some of you are aware but for those who aren’t I’ve been a semi-regular guest on GI Joe: A Real American Headcast. Once a month myself and a crew of regulars discuss an issue of the classic GI Joe: A Real American Hero Comic, an episode of the iconic 80s TV cartoon, and various other GI Joe related ephemera.

And it was here that I realized the solution was there all along. More on that in a bit.

The other thing came last month, November 8, when I hosted the first in an ongoing series of GenX films at the West Newton Cinema. The movie was John Hughes’ The Breakfast Club. Joining me was author Susannah Gora, who years back penned the authoritative book on the Brat Pack/GenX/John Hughes era:

I reached out to Susannah in New York, who was thrilled to attend and brought her equally lovely family – husband, daughter, parents, mother-in-law, and best friend – to the screening. A screening which, I am happy to add, was a packed audience of young and old but mostly those of us born between 1965 and 1980 – Generation X. We watched, we laughed, we cried, we cheered, and we pumped our fists like John Bender at the end of Club.

Then I took to the stage, microphone in hand.

I’m not going to lie when I say being up there before a packed audience with that microphone I felt pretty damn good. Both for the attention because I’m nothing if not needy, but for the fact I could stand there, talking about John Hughes, GenX film, 80s cinema, then conduct a discussion with Susannah and field questions from that audience, and feel totally in my element.*

It turns out I actually do know some thing. A lot of things.

About movies. About culture. About life.

Things even repeated viewers of The Breakfast Club did not – like how janitor character Carl (John Kapelos) – is seen in a high school graduate photo at the beginning, implying that this Shakespearean clown figure, the guy who sweeps the halls and fixes the leaks, knows everything that goes on inside Shermer High School because he used to be a student there.

Or that Shermer High is the same high school seen in the movie Hughes would release the following year: Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.

Or that “Don’t You Forget About Me”, the Simple Minds song that opens and closes Club wasn’t a song they wrote or even wanted to record until forced to by their record label and management, and the song ended up becoming both their biggest hit, but also has been forever enshrined as THE Generation X anthem, with Smells Like Teen Spirit a close second (I’m sorry but you know that’s also true).

Standing there, I remembered things. That I love movies. That I love watching them. That I love writing them. That I love writing about them. And I love talking about them.

So beginning next month, January, I will be taking a step back from this website to focus on the launch and updating of:

I spent October through December teaching myself audio recording, editing, and mixing on the Audacity App and more or less have it figured out enough. Because what the world clearly has a dearth of is podcasts featuring aging GenX-ers talking about the movies of their youth. Only, to be fair, I feel my take is different than the norm. if you’re a regular reader of the Celluloid Heroes entries on this website you have some idea what this will entail. For those of you unfamiliar, I encourage you to check them all out.

Presently I’m in good shape; I have six full episodes ready to go and those will unspool monthly. My goal was always to be six months ahead of the curve to allow for things like life events, technical foul-ups, fire, theft, and other acts of Dog.

What to expect? Well, let’s call them spoken-word performances of the Celluloid Heroes essays, chapters, and otherwise. Interspersed with music clips, trailers, commercials, and some surprises along the way. Some will be familiar as they are expanded versions of the essays I’ve posted here. There will be some new ones as well. Mostly new ones.

Now while I will be taking a step back from posting regular updates to this website I won’t be abandoning it entirely. I will be posting show-notes and annotations here on a monthly basis with the arrival of each episode. There will be some other writing here and there as well.

For me my reasoning behind this decision is two-fold. Maybe three.

One, to put the Celluloid Heroes story to audio and hopefully reach the audience you need to have to get a non-fiction book about film published in this day and age; I fully admit that. If it sounds mercenary, well, it kind of is. Having a book based on a (hopefully popular) podcast won’t hurt the cause. It may even help it.

But at the same time the very real prospect of a Celluloid Heroes book never being published would be just as disappointing. With a podcast (hopefully a successful one) the stories get told whether a publisher bites or not.

For me that’s more important: telling the story. That’s number two. the worst fate to befall any creative is to create something you genuinely toiled on and just as genuinely believe is quite excellent, then find out nobody’s buying or worse, nobody’s interested in taking even a look at it. This podcast allows me to circumvent the tastemakers and gatekeepers and out the Celluloid Heroes story out into the world.

The third thing? Well, I won’t lie when I say that the writing game has been a tremendous strain these past several years. Both with the endless querying and piling up of rejections, but also with a general lack of motivation to write when I know just to put pen to paper for the first time means to embark on a months-to-years long effort until I have something read-ready that will in all likelihood get passed on with a stock rejection.

And frankly, I don’t have that much time left in me. Not is a specific “I have bad news for you Mr. Abraham” way; just that my age being what it is there are fewer miles ahead of me than there are in my rear-view. That I am nearer to the end of this movie than I am the beginning This is not any sort of pessimism: these are just facts. I’m not whining or begging for your sympathy. Short and sweet of it is that I want to devote what time I have left on creative projects that will actually get out in the world to be seen, or in this case heard.

I thrive best when I have an ongoing thing to work on, to engage with, to create. With The Celluloid Heroes Podcast I have that; I can write, record, edit, mix, and release a new episode every month that’s out in the world for everyone to see and hear while still having time to pursue other things. There are no agents, no editors, no gatekeepers to drop the portcullis and say “sorry but we’re going to pass on this one.” I’ve spent/wasted far too many days, months, weeks, and years waiting for people to give me an answer e it thumbs up or thumbs down. Here I get to bypass them entirely and get my work into the world.

So that’s where I leave things this 20th of December 2024. New episodes will be available on Apple and Spotify, and I will post links to the shows (with some show-notes here as well). I see the podcast being a component of this website and vice versa.

To that end regular non-Heroes updates maybe a little sparse here, but I do hope to continue with the regular updating of this site to justify your return visits. I will still aim to pen some non-podcast stuff here as well. Who knows? It seems anytime I think I’m done with something, that something finds new inspiration to barge itself back into my life.

So until January I bid all of you a fond holiday season, and I hope all of you will tune in to the first episode of The Celluloid Heroes Podcast. It will be the ultimate trip, I promise.